Making Plans When Not Everyone Has the Same Budget
Let’s talk about something nobody really teaches you:
How do you make plans with friends when everyone’s working with a different budget?
It might just be grabbing lunch, or it could be as involved as planning a vacation. Either way, money can make group plans tricky. And here’s the thing—most of us are dealing with this. We just don’t talk about it.
Why This Happens
Money stress is way more common than it seems. According to LendingTree, more than half of Americans have skipped plans with friends because of cost. And a Pew Research study found that nearly half (49%) of middle-income adults feel financially insecure at least sometimes.
That means even if your friend looks like they’re doing fine, they might secretly be weighing whether that dinner out is worth the stress later.
Why We Avoid the Conversation
Talking about money feels awkward. Nobody wants to be “the one who can’t afford it” or risk being the downer of the group.
So instead, we default to vague excuses like, “I’m busy,” or we go along with plans we don’t actually feel great about. But avoiding the conversation doesn’t help. It can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, or even drifting apart.
What to Say Instead
Money talk doesn’t have to be heavy. A few simple phrases can keep things honest while still positive:
- “Would you mind if we found something a little more budget-friendly?”
- “I’d love to join, but I’m keeping things low-key this month. Could we do X instead?”
- “Can we do something free or cheap next time? I’m watching my spending.”
The key: frame it as a preference, not a problem. Most friends will appreciate your honesty, and many are probably relieved you said it first.
Group Plans & Pitfalls
When it comes to group planning, here are a few common pitfalls to watch out for:
⚠️ Group texts where people toss out big ideas without checking budgets.
⚠️ Venmo culture that makes it awkward to ask for your money back if you covered too much.
⚠️ Trips where one person’s splurging while someone else is silently stressing.
To avoid this, try setting a budget range from the start. Use polls or planning apps like Splitwise to keep things transparent and fair. It normalizes budget-friendly planning and makes everyone feel more comfortable.
The Bottom Line
Friendship should never feel like a financial burden.
Talking about money with friends isn’t about being cheap. It means you care enough to make sure everyone feels included.
You might have to be the first to bring it up, but every time you do it makes it easier for anyone to say, “Hey, can we keep it simple this time?” Because the point isn’t how much you spend, it’s the time you spend together.
Sources:
LendingTree, 2023
Pew Research Center, 2022